7 Most Effective Ways to Gain Fat Fast…
It is that time of year again. The run into Xmas. A few weeks to make sure that you hit the New Year like a sack of spuds.
Think of the blissful feeling of bumming in the tracksuits and only being able to wear a few items of clothing ‘cos that’s all that fits’.
Let me list perhaps the 7 most effective and easiest ways of gaining fat like it was suddenly an Olympic sport.
1. Eat a Diet Rich in Sugars and Hydrogenated Vegetable Fats
A classic dietary approach to take for those of us wishing to gain a steady 0.5 – 2 lbs of weight a week.
Ensure that you take a restricted approach to your diet by consuming foods rich in hydrogenated vegetable oils and fats and sugar.
One trick of convincing yourself that you avoided this pitfall is to consume low-fat cereal bars.
“It’s OK – these are low in fat!”
Taking in these between meals are a sure fire way to keep you on the road to gaining fat in a sensible and progressive way by allowing us to shut down the activity of our fat burning enzymes and increasing the activity of fat storage enzymes. Perfect – I wouldn’t have it any other way.
2. Sit on Your Arse
This is a great approach to take to again ensure steady fat gain. All the excuses under the sun will be strong enough to overcome the urge to exercise and get out of breath through lifting weights, circuit training and a brisk walk, jog, run, swim or bike.
Oscar Wilde once wrote that whenever he felt like exercise he sat down until the feeling passed.
Sound advice.
3. Avoid Fruits and Vegetables like the plague
Avoiding these little bundles of goodness will help me no end in my quest to put on fat over the holidays. They will allow you extra time in bed as you catch every cold going. They will even make you eat more of the sugary stuff as you will never, unbelievably, feel full after eating.
RESULT!
4. Taking No Responsibility for Your Actions
This is a great little progresser in the fat gaining stakes.
It can’t be your fault that you cram the cookies into your mouth or sit on your arse all day watching the clock ticking.
It is your dog’s fault that he kept you up all night barking stopping you from going out for your morning walk.
It is your children’s fault that they can’t do their homework and have a play that you have to attend that stops you from attending your class.
It is your husband’s fault that he argued with you and you responded by eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s.
Equally it is not your fault when you see the scales rise after doing nothing all weak. But that’s OK at the end of the day it is not your problem.
5. Choose to Drink 3 litres of Alcohol a Day rather than water
A bottle of wine is a far better choice than a glass.
10 pints seems to have far more rational logic to it that 3-4 bottles.
5 chasers seem to have a much better effect than just leaving at the lovely dinner that you ate.
But that’s OK – see point 4.
6. Stress, Stress and More Stress
This will help you lose weight but still gain fat as frequent boozing, late nights, no exercise lowers your testosterone to levels akin to the alcoholic on the corner of Grafton Street.
Keep working the hours you work, neglect taking proper time off and stress the body until it cries at you to stop.
Equally stress will be available in volume alongside the more obvious times you can feel it. So absorb it and thrive on it.
That is undoubtedly a winning formula.
7. Letting it all go!
Let it all go! Ignore your body and the potential it has to provide you with boundless energy, strength and vitality.
Develop the will to just say no to exercise, sound food choices and a comfortable stress free lifestyle.
That is, after all the easiest way isn’t it?
