As a Dad into health and fitness I have been meaning to write this for a while. And as dad of 2 young boys I can certainly get a better understanding of where the parent vs. get healthy and fitter conundrum sits.
Being a Dad is a wonderful experience and I tip my hat to anyone who has the answers. I know. It gets tough. It gets emotional and you are tested as an individual. But one thing is constant - YOU and your body.
Now I am NOT saying that you have to run around with pretty little six packs. Far from it. I hope that love cuts deeper than that. But an obese dad is not a good thing. EVER.
When I sit down with a client I ask them what drives, motivates and inspires them. Dads, after the rudimentary 'get fitter', 'look better' 'feel better, invariably kids come into the equation.
Who knows it may have been something that one of those little ankle biters said that tips them over the edge into action.
"Hey dad, what's that? (sticking their finger into the spare tyre)"
You see no matter what way you slice or dice it, being there and I mean actually 'BEING' there for your children is fundamental for your role as a parent.
You can earn pots of money, work long hours and commit to being there at the weekend. But are you actually THERE. The trade off has been a week of eating poorly, drinking and late nights and stress levels that are way out of control.
Exercise? Don't have time for that.
Waking up with symptoms of poor digestion, no sleep, anxiety, no energy, pain in your joints, a headache, brain fog are all signs that your body is telling your something. Number one to check first is - what are your eating and drinking? Eat the wrong stuff, drink the wrong stuff and all these symptoms start to appear.
Moreover, are you of any use if you constantly suffer from anxiety attacks, moodiness, low energy, tiredness, physically weak, mentally brittle and your last demonstration of 'love' was making your missis a cup of tea (at a push).
Between loans, servicing, washing and keeping things right we spend more on our fucking cars than we do on maintaing our own bodywork. WTF???
"Hey nice car but you look like shit"
Folks you need your HEALTH for that. And without it things can spiral out of control.
Look….enough of the lambasting here is what you can do as a Dad to get things right: -
1. Value your health as a Dad
It starts with you actually valuing what you have. If you feed the engine with diesel when your ferrari needs high octane fuel then expect it to cough and splutter. No wonder life is so tough (or that is your perception of it). Release the handbrake and start fueling it correctly! That is a mindset adjustment and takes practice.
When you feel like not bothering - ask yourself why, and then why again and then why again and again and again until you remove all the bullshit excuses. Then do.
You owe it to the people around you who have to put up with your ever expanding waist line, your inability to lift something heavy (I have seen a fella make his lady wife carry shopping bags), your inability to run after your kids without having a thrombo and a temper that could make Ghengis Khan shiver.
2. Schedule time at the start of your week for exercise
This really helps. Only you will know your schedule but 30 minutes most days is not beyond most folks. You just have to look and see where.
I get up at 5am, breakfast, commute to work, coach and then have a break. That is when it gets done. An appointment.
90% of the time it gets done because it is scheduled. If it wasn't, it wouldn't.
I have worked with some folks who take a walk at 10pm. Train before the kids get up at 6.30am. Lunchtime for 30 minutes at a local gym. Do it before they get home having worked through their lunch. If you make excuses here - refer to point 1.
3. Know how to train and exercise
Stronger dads are more useful. If you struggle to open a jam jar and the thought of some manual labor would highlight your lack of farmer boy strength petrifies you then time to face facts. If you are physically weak then you are mentally going to face some challenges.
This is a skill and knowing how to bang out a 30 minute session or more if you have more time is a skill. So hire a coach. It is an investment. You will learn how to train correctly so that you are not wasting time in the gym. In 1-2 sessions you should have a pretty handy repertoire of exercises. In addition online personal training works well if you need some specific guidance on how to structure things in and out of the gym.
There is something about improving your strength that builds resilience for life. I guess it comes down to reference points. I remember reading the superhero comics when I was young. I loved the Hulk. There was something about their physiques that equated strength with an all round bad ass approach to life. I guess that has never left me. Maybe it is time to change the super hero bed sheets though.
4. Train with the correct intensity
Some days you will feel like you can go for ever. Others, not so. You are pulling teeth. Maybe sleep was a problem last night, you are just coming off the back of a cold that the kids gave you, or you had one two many drinks at Mary's leaving party - don't make an excuse just make the right call.
When you are under periods of high stress and irregular scheduling then I would recommend the following with your training
High Stress - walk, do sprints (2 sets of 10 x 40m with a 5 minute recovery), drop the volume of your training by 50%. This means if you are doing 4 sets of 10 in the gym, do 10 but with the same intensity, do a bodybuilding type workout with small muscle groups and high reps and short rest periods. Get a massage, stretch, yoga or meditate. There is a pretty handy menu there for you to try!
Low Stress - Go for it! You will know the days when you can so go for it! This could mean setting a record in the gym, pumping out some sprints, do a finisher in the gym or adding in some sprints down at the track.
The main take home is that you take time for yourself that doesn't require social mask in the form of a good piss up or burying yourself in online porn.
5. Prepare some meals
There is nothing healthy to eat out of a garage or deli counter. So don't kid yourself you can do it by grabbing something there. It just doesn't work.
Instead master the art of a leftover. Dinner is on. Grab a tupperware and before your 16 year old demolishes it put aside some for lunch tomorrow. And do you think that work food is healthy? Its not. Trust me.
6. Stay hydrated
This is simple. Get a bottle or two. Fill it full of water and start drinking it through the day. Not a hero one minute and zero the next. Just sip away. Let me know how every part of your being feels after doing this.
So there you go. Being a dad is a responsibility that starts with you and your body. Keep it in good nick.
John Lark is founder and owner of Sphere Fitness based in Maynooth, Co.Kildare.
For more information about their programmes including a 30 Day Jumpstart and 21 Day Shred then fill out the form below to request a call back.
